I have derived the materials and the extrapolation of the following exposition. Based on my own past experiences dealing with these struggles myself. As well as my observations and deductions of other people, and their relationship with the following problems and issues.
I know that I can be quite fiery and intense when I am talking about these things. But please do not take it personally, please take it objectively. Please do not take the following in the wrong way. If I didn't care, I wouldn't waste my time. I wouldn't say anything at all and just let you be. As much as I would like to convey the following in a nicer manner. There are certain things that cannot be fluffed or sugar coated. Because attempting to do so would deviate from the Truth that I am trying to convey.
I am not saying that change is easy. That people can just pick up, go, and move on/past whatever/whomever it may be. I am saying that with hard work and dedication. Change is possible.
Consider the following very attentively, very carefully, and very seriously.
So you say that you are trying to be more in the moment, great. So you say that you are trying to live one day at a time, excellent. These things are fine if not encouraged. So long as you utilize them from a perspective of periodic rest, and as a means to achieve long term objective success and goals. Not as a means for escapism, and short term subjective fancies laced with wishful thinking.
Avoiding responsibility by proclaiming that you are trying to live more in the moment, and are trying to live one day at a time. Is one of the main traps that so many people find themselves in. What is worse. Is that most people are not only aware of their faulty logic, but refuse to move past it. And instead justify and rationalize it as an excuse to remain stuck in their old ways.
Why am I so against these nonsensical ways of thinking?
Because individual and collective success, will not and cannot solidify. If one does not devise and implement a long term plan(s). As in, being more in the moment and living one day at a time. By and large primarily serves a short term plan, function, and/or purpose. Deep down, you know these things to be true don't you?
You have undoubtedly undergone and are undergoing numerous hardships, and have experienced many tragedies. I cannot even begin to imagine what that was and is like. However, what is more significant and important than these misfortunes. Is to know when to turn the page, and what you do, now. You must first turn the page to responsibility. Then turn the page to success. After which you can finally turn the page to freedom.
Therefore, being more in the moment and living life one day at a time is not only essential. But a requirement. If one is to maintain a sufficient amount of mental, physical, emotional strength, fortitude, and patience. To persevere on the path to success, enlightenment, and freedom. The discrepancy is that so many people use this insubstantial way of thinking and living as some kind of end all and be all.
Which means that they use rest, relaxation, and even busyness as an excuse for not doing what they know they could and should be. Severely prohibiting and limiting their progression and subsequent ascension into elevated ways of perception and living. Pain and Bitterness are Not Limitations. They are Channels. Channels of which you can focus, gather, and release positivity or negativity. It is your choice and your choice alone.
There is no such thing as standing still or neutrality. You are either growing or rotting. There is no in between, and there is no standing still. You are either headed towards more positivity, or more negativity. You are either attracting more positivity, or more negativity. And just as important if not more so. You are either attracted to more positivity, or more negativity. It is not enough, to simply not do bad or evil yourself. One must also concentrate greatly, and actively do good. Not play and/or be innocent, neither play or stay victim.
One of the main ways that playing and/or being innocent, as well as playing or staying victim manifests itself. Is through a lack of commitment and/or confidence with oneself and/or other people. Due to the fear of the possibility and prospect of experiencing pain. One avoids commitment and/or confidence with oneself and/or other people, in a clever attempt to avoid responsibility for ones own well being. In a further attempt to minimize and reduce the likelihood of pain to occur by taking the above measures of avoidance. One can possibly, avoid pain. In turn, avoidance by nature. Certainly, and inevitably minimizes and reduces the likely hood of joy and pleasure to occur as well.
Furthermore, when people of a similar mindset. Have their integrity and/or sincerity questioned. They often become offended. Where they then confuse and/or consciously dismiss a Logical Deduction Rooted in Patterns and Observations over Time, as a mere Assumption. They may say things like, "You Don't Know Me." "You Can't Judge Me." "Don't Judge Me." "How Dare You Judge Me." Only God Can Judge Me." "You Don't Know The Whole Story." "There Are Two Sides To Every Story." "You Haven't Gone Through What I've Gone Through." "When You Have Experienced What I Have, And Have Seen What I Have. Then You Can Talk." "That Is Just How I Am." "That Is Just My Personality." etc etc etc.
What does all of that even mean? Does that mean that that is it? Accept how things are and do nothing about it? Accept the negative and counter productive aspects of yourself and just live with it? Or do you take up responsibility and do something about it? People say the above statements and believe the above things as if they do not have any will power or responsibility. They just accept habits as if they cannot change them. If I said something like, "If you do not stop acting in this manner (insert whatever habit), then I will kill your whole family." Do you think your ways of thinking, your habits, and your personality is so unchangeable then? Obviously I would never do that, and obviously it is highly unlikely you will find yourself and/or your family in such an ultimatum. But it makes one think doesn't it? That change is possible. It's just that for whatever reason, you have not found an adequate enough reason to change yet.
You do not believe drug addiction is a habit? Is whatever habit you have as bad as a Methamphetamine addiction? Few things in the world come close to messing your neurology up as Meth. There are very real and very serious consequences to taking drugs, especially ones like Meth. Yet there are people who quit Meth cold turkey. Fueled by Will Power and Responsibility.
There are ex child soldiers who had to resort to eating the rotting flesh of their fallen comrades in order to survive. Lest they starve to death and their families be executed for their failure. Yet these people lead happy and positive lives today. People can change. People have changed. People do change. People are changing. So can you.
People will Judge you, but you are not allowed to Judge them. Now why is that? Why would somebody who is so confident in their not being dishonest, weak, inconsistent, indirect, untruthful, impractical, unpragmatic etc. Become offended the moment someone tries to discuss and/or asks them questions in regards to these kinds of things? If they are Truly Confident that what they are saying and who they are being is Accurate, Honest and True. Discussion and questioning should not summon such negativity from them. If someone were to doubt and question Superman's ability to fly. I highly doubt that he would bat a lash. However, if someone were to say that he has a weakness to Kryptonite. I imagine he would get uncomfortable, upset, angry, and defensive. These people will try to sound Confident with their Anger. But Anger is just Counterfeit Confidence. That does not and will not stand the test of time. If you are so Confident, then why would you be so Angry? Anger is almost always a sign of Insecurity.
Most attempts at being there for them, which inevitably involves pointing out aspects about their personality and their thought processes. That could be improved upon and or changed all together. Usually results in them thinking that you are trying to start a fight and/or conflict. They feel entitled to their bitterness, their lack of trust, their anger, their unforgiveness, and their impatience. Because they refuse to move on from the past. And instead would rather play and/or be innocent, as well as play or stay victim. It is not enough, to simply not do bad or evil yourself. One must also concentrate greatly, and actively do good. Not play and/or be innocent, neither play or stay victim.
You may be thinking "I will consider doing these things that I know I could be and should be. But now is not the right time. First I need to gather my thoughts, sort out my feelings, and consider my options." I have no objection against that. After all to make a sound logical decision the proper organization and optimization of these things are paramount to success. However there comes a point where you are no longer organizing and optimizing. But instead are just being complacent, cowardly, bitter, angry, stubborn, selfish, and/or lazy, aren't you? Understand that you will never be 100% ready, 100% healthy, 100% over it, nor have 100% of the information, resources and/or conditions you seek. To enhance your options, and create your plans in the rigid way that you wanted, want, and are more than likely going to. Thus ebbing, rather than flowing.
Not making a decision can at times be just as bad if not worse than making a decision that you would not consider as "perfect." Perfect opportunities, perfect conditions, perfect options, and likewise, perfect choices, come few and far in between. Most of the time even with the most favorable of circumstances. Opportunities, conditions, options, and choices will coalesce in the form of better and/or best at most. Very seldom do you encounter perfect ones.
You have so many ideas and options floating around in Superposition in your head. If you do not want to continue spiraling downwards towards more negativity. You will eventually and inevitably have to make an imperfect decision(s), from an imperfect choice(s). Furthermore, you will have to be committed, confident, and have follow through. If you intend on these decisions to make and have any real long term positive impact.
This in no way encourages nor promotes impulsiveness and/or carelessness. It is of utmost importance that this distinction is drawn very clearly. For clarification. The primary thing to keep in mind with the above information. Is that there comes a point where the delusion of pride and faulty ways of thinking, can only take so much. Before the truth, and thus the solution reveals itself. To the point where no amount of innocence real or fake, nor playing or staying victim will suffice. In the maintenance of an insubstantial and ultimately selfish way of life.
To take things a step further. People often utilize and justify their desire to pursue perfection as an elaborate excuse to continue to be complacent, cowardly, bitter, angry, stubborn, selfish, and/or lazy. Furthermore, it is unfortunate to observe how all too often people suffering from these invisible prisons. Spit on the hands of those who offer their care and concern. You only want and/or need the select people you presently keep around you do you? In doing so, you have very effectively and precisely closed yourself off from that much more possibility and change.
Certainly their are talents, skills, abilities, qualities, personalities, histories and perspectives that other people possess. That match if not exceed the current capacity of yourself and/or the ones you hold dear. Like a double edged sword. The pride that you defend and protect so vehemently with your anger, ignorance, and lack of trust. In turn, poisons you from within. Slowly yet surely corrupting what little peace and joy you possess. Inevitably poisoning those around you as well. Especially the ones you consider the closest.
There is a significant difference between Criticism and Dissatisfaction. A person who whines and complains with no substantial intention of actually doing anything positive to improve the situation, is criticizing. Whereas, someone who is dissatisfied. Deems the available circumstance(s) as unfavorable. Then devises and implements a plan to achieve a positive outcome.
Given the above distinction. I am willing to bet that if you are a person who chooses to play or stay a victim. You more than likely fall into the category of being a person who blames, criticizes, and avoids real long term responsibilities more often than not. As opposed to a dissatisfied individual who moves beyond victim hood into leadership, and embraces responsibility in its variety of forms.
To take things yet another step further. If you lack the sufficient desire to break free from your old ways even for your own sake. Then at least do it for the sake of others. Do not let all of your untapped potential go to waste, you are much more powerful and confident than you think.
Through Concentration and Effort, we achieve True Excellence. But Only through the earnest Service of One Another, can this state of Greatness Continue to Exist. And Only through the Continual Presence of This Sublime Condition can we Move Forward. Individually, and Together as a Whole. As Opposed to just Carrying On As Individuals Lost Amidst Chaos and Ill Will.
Finally. For most people who would justify and rationalize their lack of trust, as selectiveness. I propose that their lack of trust is primarily inspired by having a victim mentality (which is a major stumbling block in the release and relief of bitterness). Not to say that everybody can be trusted with the same things you would entrust with a select few and/or a select one. I am not saying that. I am merely pointing out the fact that you can learn to trust considerably more than you are currently used to.
Keep in mind that positivity, possibility, and change are directly correlated with how open you are to the world around you. As in, the more closed off you are due to things like bitterness, lack of trust, anger, and unforgiveness. You will instantaneously and quite naturally be closed off from things like true happiness, true joy, true peace, true love, true compassion, and true understanding. Another thing to keep in mind is that people who tend to have a victim mentality, have a high propensity and proclivity to blame circumstances and other people. As if they were devoid of will power and responsibility. Which means that with deadly efficiency. They forfeit the vast majority of their control and ability to positively influence and change the world in and around them. Thus, chasing short term subjective fancies. As opposed to long term objective success and goals.
Please do not misunderstand. I organize these thoughts and write them down for you. Because I want to bring you up, not drag you down. You have undoubtedly undergone and are undergoing numerous hardships, and have experienced many tragedies. I cannot even begin to imagine what that was and is like. However, what is more significant and important than these misfortunes. Is to know when to turn the page, and what you do, now. You must first turn the page to responsibility. Then turn the page to success. After which you can finally turn the page to freedom.
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